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October 30 wtfwtf hard to believe I even still have this space.
I remember when I used to blog everyday and sometimes two times.I look at my entries and think I am an idiot always sounding the same and blathering on about nothing. Life and reality are constantly changing and I suppose I have forced change to happen in my life so often that it seems normal. I wonder if the isn't just some subconscious force to make me synchronize with the chaotic undercurrent of reality. I am even more driven inside myself to make some sense of life , of the world, of my own self (if there really is one) I am at a junction of all my beliefs and don't want to accept anything I was ever taught by anyone. I look at this mad fucked up world and all I can say is WTF (this is not a bad thing). I have lived my whole life in a bubble created by fear, worry,self rejection,and timidness. I almost want my soul to overload like a computer that has bad code and reboot or re format. There is an impossible and wonderous universe that I want to get to know and my little world view that has carried me thus far is so small it hurts. Here's to total meltdown cheers
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